Book Review: The Power of Full Engagement

The Power of Full Engagement by Jim Loehr

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


I confess I've never really paid much attention to whether or not I am oscillating properly, or taken responsibility for my own linearity, but I will now. In fact, it would be crazy not to. The subtitle here says it all: Managing Energy, Not Time, is the Key to High Performance and Personal Renewal. I can't add more hours to the day, but I can pay attention to the ebb and flow of my energy and take steps to build it, maintain it, and spend it wisely.

This one ended up in my reading pile this year because Stephen R. Covey mentioned it in The 8th Habit, and I can see why he did. These guys, who started out as trainers for elite athletes, speak of energy in terms of the four aspects of a whole self, so important in Covey's paradigm. Physical energy we know about, though often neglect. Mental, Emotional and Spiritual Energy also matter. All four sources of energy are built and restored the same way: push past current limits, relax and recover, repeat. Not rocket science... just good sense.

Full explanation behind the relationship of energy to full engagement is given, together with instruction in their training program. Personally, I love the idea of rituals and have successfully employed this strategy a great deal over the years. When we commit to a certain regular behavior or pattern of behaviors, we reduce the amount of energy needed to decide what to do. No dithering, no excuses.If I am looking to gain physical energy for example, a regular morning run might be the thing. For emotional energy, a daily practice of journaling might be in order. The key is to make the decision, game plan for what you want to work on, implement, adjust and hold yourself accountable. The authors have a blank personal development plan in the appendix, along with a sample.

I have to say that I truly expect all of this to be a lot easier once the transition to Florida is complete later this year. Certainly it will be easier to exercise every day, eat well, surround myself with uplifting friends, etc. That's an excuse, of course, so I will keep doing what I can now and plan to increase the program as I go. Since the idea of being fully engaged is a little bit scary at the moment, it seems wise to start by building up spiritual muscle, which these authors recommend anyway, saying "Change is powered from the top down." This book is an excellent contribution to my year of transition and transformation, and truth to tell it would help just about anyone I know. Highly recommended.

A three-page summary, written by me, is available for free download, here.

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Chapter 1: Pain

Few authors speak to me like Stephen R. Covey does. His books are the guidestar to my best life, filling me up on each read and reread. So why I have allowed myself to stray from the basic principles he articulated so well, I don't know. Fortunately, some higher power keeps intervening, pointing me back over and over. That's why I noticed a complete set of audio CDs for The 8th Habit on a colleague's shelf just before a long car trip I took in November. She graciously allowed me to borrow them and I popped the first one in as I got the highway.  Dr. Covey opens this one with a chapter called "Pain" that so well describes what I've been feeling lately that it truly gave me a sense that I had come home. The solutions for me would be there if I just put my focus on the things Covey talks about. Take some time with it: no speed reading.

"Listen to these voices," he says: 

• "I'm frustrated and discouraged."
• "Maybe I just don't have what it takes."
• "I'm stressed out; everything's urgent."

Sound familiar? It did to me. And while I know that everyone from the makers of antidepressants to the owners of beach resorts promise a quick fix for deeply embedded pain like this, I know in my heart that I feel better when I apply Dr. Covey's principles to my every day life.  As a result of this road trip, I made some big decisions about my future and also dedicated 2016 not just to transition, but also to transformation.

It seems to me the problem so many people are experiencing - not being fully engaged at work and at home - is getting worse, even since The 8th Habit was first published in 2004. Brain scientists I have seen on TV talk about the bad-for-us neurological rewiring taking place because of our increasing use of cell phones, tablets, and computers. Add in a zero nutrition diet, and we are doing things to our bodies they were not designed for. Yet, even as we are decreasing our human capacities, we are raising expectation levels. Says Covey: "Being effective as individuals and organizations is no longer optional in today's world - it's the price of entry to the playing field." There are no more "also rans," no ribbons just for participating. Those trying to live by the rules crafted by others end up in tremendous pain.

One would think that as a self-employed person, I had avoided this whole rat race problem, and maybe I have to a larger degree than others. Still, I think Covey nails it on the head when he says we all need to adopt his 8th habit: "Find your voice and inspire others to find theirs." Voice is defined as "unique personal significance," so it's clear to me that I don't have that. I'm still not sure where I fit. Thus, the deep, lonely, unrelenting emptiness some have called "existential angst." Since reading Covey, I don't think it's existential.  It is not an inevitable price of life. The pain flows from living outside of natural laws, outside of our own conscience, outside our passions. "When you engage in work that taps your talent and fuels your passion - that rises out of a great need in the world that you feel drawn by conscience to meet - therein lies your voice, your calling, your soul's code." Void filled.

I may be closer to this than most, but I'm not there yet and the gap is draining me. My nieces and nephews call this a "first world problem" and so it is. But it is my problem to solve and so I will.

It is comforting to me that Dr. Covey reports that his personal interactions with some of the world's greatest leaders has taught him that most aren't born with great vision, but rather develop it slowly over the course of life. It's when they seek to make their work sustainable (to leave a lasting legacy) that they find a way to institutionalize their individual accomplishments. That means sharing their personal insights with others in a way that makes their unique personal significance stick - the "inspire others to find theirs" part of the 8th habit. 

I feel calmer just being able to see this destination ahead. Dr. Covey says this book provides a roadnmap from where I am now to that place in my future where I can honestly say I found my voice and inspired others to find theirs.

Let the journey begin.

Book Review: The Four Agreements

The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


I have two copies of this one in my house - the one I bought and read five years ago and the one a coach I hired three years ago gave me.  It was great to read it again... and then to go back and compare the two copies to see the difference between what I was picking up on (highlighting) back then and what I picked up on the second time.  I recommend that exercise to anyone who has not read this in a while.

Don Miguel Ruiz is tapped into something pretty special, and I have no doubt of the Truth of his words.  He's right when he says The Four Agreements are easy to understand but difficult to live.  Even though I have grown a great deal in the five years since I read this the first time, I still feel like I am perpetually climbing uphill, never sure if there is a summit.  Don Miguel says if we do our best each day to live The Four Agreements, we will be living at the summit no matter where our life's journey takes us.  I like that... and I believe it.  Now I just have to do it!

Short, lyrical, and richly layered, The Four Agreements is a must read for all Seekers. I may do the workbook next year. Stay tuned.


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Book Review: How Starbucks Saved My Life

How Starbucks Saved My Life: A Son of Privilege Learns to Live Like Everyone Else by Michael Gates Gill

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


I loved this book so much I read it twice, a few years apart, and gained from it all over again. It's been a long time since I did that. Well done, Mr. Gill.

The basic rundown here is that a well-connected, highly-educated, and talented member of the 1% unexpectedly loses his job just as he hits the age when getting a new one is going to be very difficult. Could he prove age discrimination? Maybe. But he doesn't sue. Instead, he ekes out a living consulting for a while, but without much ambition it doesn't really take off. The truth is that depression has him in its grip... and then he gets a diagnosis of a serious illness. Self-employed, he has no insurance. He's living in a friend's attic. He walks in to a Starbucks for a treat he can ill-afford and doesn't notice the sign for the employment open house. When the young manager asks him if he wants a job, he surprises himself by saying "yes."

That's when a son of privilege learns to live like everyone else.

Michael Gates Gill, the Ad Executive in the chauffeured limousine, is now Mike, the guy with the three-train commute. Michael Gates Gill, who has met and worked with Jackie Kennedy, Ernest Hemingway, Lee Iacocca, Muhammed Ali, Brooke Aster, Frank Lloyd Wright, Frank Sinatra, Truman Capote, James Thurber and others, is now Mike the guy cleaning bathrooms at the local Starbucks, hoping he won't be asked to work the cash register. But this is not a story about the transformative power of humble pie. It's about finding real teamwork, real camaraderie, real leadership, real respect and kindness, and real challenges, all in the last place he would have thought to look. He says:

"Here at Starbucks both the Partners and the Guests seem to have agreed tacitly that everyone should be treated with respect and dignity. I had never seen any work environment like it. The best Fortune 500 companies I had encountered, despite spending months and lots of money writing and publishing high-sounding mission statements, never practiced the corporate gobbledygook they preached."

The 28 year old supervisor of Gill's Starbucks is a case study in how to be an excellent manager and a great leader. Without any formal training and against all odds, she makes the calls, requires people to be kind to each other, orients new employees according to their unique needs, offers praise, and sets a tone of mutual responsibility across the team. She respects how difficult it is to clean a toilet. She is not competitive with her staff. She gets results.

To his credit, Gill realizes that part of his journey now is to find ways to live for the present and future, focus on the positive, and embrace life on its own terms. He knows he has unique skills he can offer (he's an advertising professional, after all) and slowly but surely finds ways to employ them for the good of the team. He genuinely enjoys interacting with the customers and gets to know many of them. He comes to see his "fall" as akin to Alice's drop through the rabbit hole into a previously-unimagined new world. Serving coffee side by side with people you like is better than sitting in an air-conditioned office with people you don't. Another quote:

"I could be sincere at Starbucks because I was finally in a work environment that valued those precious moments of truly human interaction. From the moment when I admitted that I was happy to be there, it had seemed so simple and easy. Why didn't every company work that way?"

In the end, Gill offers some advice for others who want to change their lives 1) take a leap of faith, 2) look at others with respect, and 3) listen to the happiness inside your heart.

Fabulous book. A real gift. I will probably read it again some day, when I need to remember that life is really not as hard as we make it sometimes.



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